So, I recently had a very emotionally devastating experience. I posted my Wednesday's Child picture of an orphan in need of a family on my facebook just like I did here on the blog. A lady in my playgroup commented on the picture about taking care of our own in America first and through comments back and forth between her, I and several others, things took a nasty turn and she said some really cruel and ugly things about me. Then a couple folks came to my defence and then a couple folks said it was best to delete that whole thread of comments so I did, and then the attack (this is how it felt and how I took it) on my by this lady in my playgroup continued on private message. I was bawling literally all night long. I have unfriended her on my facebook. This lady claimes that she is not the only person in playgroup who thinks these things and that everyone is talking about me. I did consider leaving the playgroup over this but I did email one lady I am closest to in the group and she says she has heard no talk. I did not tell her who it was just what was said and all. She said if I leave then this person cruel and immature behavior wins. The lady who was responsible works so she is only at night and weekend activites, so for now anyway I will stay in playgroup and just not do nights and weekends for now. Unless I hear more from others. Just gonna see how it goes. I must say I am paranoid now about what are others really thinking, what are people saying, etc. So just in case some of this may be on anyone reading my blogs mind....
For the record..I did NOT adopt Noah and Jeremiah to get a check from the government! I could not convince this woman of that. She is convinced I do not love my kids and I only got them to draw a check. I am thinking that is really wild since NEITHER BOY GETS A RED CENT from the governement! (NOT that there is anything wrong with a family adopting a special needs child and that child getting disability. If they gave birth to that cihld and it was disabled it would get a check, so I dont have a problem with folks who do, but to be accused of not loving my children and only adopting them to get a check is crazy! I love these boys more than life itself and to be accused of that was devastating for me! If any of you reading are wondering WHY we adopted our boys...LOVE! that is it! NOT to get money,not for any other weird reason. We fell in love with them. If there was any selfish motive at all before Noah it was just that I wanted a baby and so we sought out adoption. If that is selfish then I guess I am. But once I began to learn more and more my heart was and is so touched by orphans! The day I laid eyes on Noah's photo I was in LOVE, the same with Jeremiah! I was accused of calling Noah a Retard! For the record I have never and would never do that. I could go on and on of the things this woman said she and supposedly multiple folks in our playgroup say about me but I am already bawling my eyes out just posting this much. IF you are someone who has questions about us, about our kids, about do we get checks (NO), do we get food stamps (NO), do we get medicaid ( NO on NOAH, YES on Jeremiah (BUT WE PAY FOR IT, we BUY secondary medicaid to help with his copays because he is so severe, would not qualify if not for that, not that there is anything wrong with taking medicaid but just setting the record straight) do we get WIC (NO on NOAH, YES on Jeremiah because we were required to by Medicaid to help with the prescription formula). Any questions you have ask and I will do my best to answer. The thought of folks talking about me behind my back and thinking bad about us kills me. YES, during our adoption we fundraised and out right begged for help because our son was in DIRE need to get home quickly and we did not have the adoption funds. If you think bad about us for that, then I can't help it but nobody else was wanting Jeremiah and we despretly wanted to love him and are doing just that! Please pray for my heart as it feels trambled upon, pray for wisdom in what to do, pray that the "others" that are talking in playgroup will stop and will not mistreat me or anyone else and pray that I can be smart and just stop trusting anyone at face value.
The Sweetest Word:
So the other day I am trying to get some things done, my mom is in the living room where I am trying to do this and the boys of course and Noah is saying "Mama this, mama that, over and over wanting one thing or another all the while I am trying to get things done and keep stopping to talk to him and do what I can that he needs or whatever and my mom says to me " YOU NEED TO CHANGE YOUR NAME"! LOL and she was sorta kidding but basically her reasoning was that he keeps calling me. But that is just it! HE IS CALLING ME MAMA! I remember crying and crying at the begining fearing I would never hear the word Mama at Noah's lips! But now he says it ALL THE TIME! My beautiful panda boy that was completely non verbal when we picked him up is FAR from non verbal now. He is talking more and more each and every day. He is definitly not speaking like an average 3 and half year old but he is so talking! So hearing Mama is the sweetest word I hear! Some of you remember Noah coming home, some of you knew he was thought possibly mute, some of you remember the tears and excitement when he said the first word, when he said mama for the first time. Each day he says a new word , a new SENTENCE finally and on and on! WOW! It amazes me to watch him! I was sad at the thought of never hearing him call me mama and cried about it but knew that I would be ok even if I never heard it, and I am so blessed I got too! NOW, I am in that place with Jeremiah. It is assumed that Jeremiah won't speak. There is no way to know for sure as we are not God, and yes at times I get sad thinking I will never hear him call me mama and again its ok. Sometimes with him I think I would so much rather him be able to see and look into my eyes and know I am mama. Something that shows me he knows me. But even if I never get that my love for Jeremiah grows! It amazes me how much I can love these boys! It amazes me how excited I get with each tiny or HUGE acchomplishment they make! Can't wait to share more and more with yall!
Yesterday we took the boys to the pumpkin patch! I guess we need to go sooner next year because there was very little ther this year so my dreams of pictures of Jeremiah and Noah in the middle of a bunch of pumpkins did not happen! LOL But we did get some pictures. I am putting the montage I made in here and the ALMOST perfect picture :) IF Noah would have just looked at the camera! He is not into smiling on camera lately! HOW can a 3 year old have so much attitude and be so difficult with pics?? self consious already? or just stubborn and wanting to control what I want him to do?
Don't you just love the outfit! :) LOL
Noah decided "Miah" needed to wear his hat and glasses!
I close tonight with prayers my post is well received and does not sound wrong as I am still very upset and horrified by what happend with this lady. She said those who know me in real life know the truth, funny I feel that some of my online friends have taken way more time to get to know me than folks I see regular. I have a few folks in real life I am blessed to have and I am beyond blessed to have online friends! I am blowing you all kisses in the wind! Goodnight!